Baseball-Related Program Activities

A ball from Jeff Bennett nearly takes off Jason Michaels's vest. Video on Flickr.

Labels: braves, jason michaels, jeff bennett, pirates, uniforms

6:02 -- Why, they've got a special graphic to use when Craig Biggio gets a hit.

6:11 -- Xavier Nady, who has a great name, hits a home run to tie the Pirates-Astros game at 2.
6:21 -- Hey, the Twins aren't on WCCO anymore, which is kind of like the Cardinals not being on KMOX anymore. Herb Carneal may well be rolling in his grave already.

6:25 -- The Pirates-Astros game isn't quite as speedy now that it's gone into extra innings.
6:32 -- Perhaps somebody with more time on their hands than Levi or me -- probably a member of SABR -- has calculated the percentage of World Series and/or pennant winners that won their first game of the season. I'm suddenly interested in what that statistic is.
6:33 -- Jason Bay hits a 2-run homer in the top of the 10th. He should be on the Devil Rays instead of the Pirates, given that both have "Bay" in their names.
6:38 -- The Astros strike out, in the bottom of the 10th, for the first time in the game.
6:42 -- The Pirates win a game! The Pirates win a game! And now there's only one game in progress.
6:43 -- In this post-literate age, "DQ Grill & Chill" seems to be the new name for "Dairy Queen Brazier." I wonder how Bob Greene feels about that. (The former columnist for the Chicago Tribune, not Oprah's personal trainer.)

You know, after I got fired two years ago, I should have tried to contact him to commiserate. We could have had a chat over Blizzards or something. I don't even remember exactly what our disagreement was about.
6:53 -- The Twins announcers are comparing former Devil Ray and current Oriole Danys Baez to Rick Sutcliffe, and talk about how he hooks his hand around behind him before he delivers the ball. At one point, they call him "a hooker."

Labels: astros, bob greene, Cardinals, craig biggio, dairy queen, danys baez, devil rays, herb carneal, jason bay, pirates, rick sutcliffe, twins, xavier nady

5:05 -- "My 29" is using the FSN graphics package, which isn't particularly unusual, but their graphics seem to be making more noise than they currently do on FSN. Guess that's part of the MyNetwork attitude.
5:10 -- They're not booing in Houston, they're saying "Luke," as in Scott, who just hit a 2-run home run.
5:16 -- The Astros announcers mention that Brad Ausmus is a news junkie, and suggest that while his teammates are watching "Sportscenter," he's watching C-SPAN or CNBC. I'm sure Fox management sent out a quick memo with a suggestion of their own about which network should have been named there.
5:27 -- A commercial for a concept I haven't thought about for a while: Perkins restaurants.
5:35 -- Watching the Pirates is making me hungry for pierogies for dinner. Good thing I have some in the freezer for just such an emergency.
5:49 -- Waiting for the pierogies to thaw in boiling water, I switch to the A's-Mariners game just to see it end, on a fly ball to Ichiro in center field.
5:50 -- Meanwhile, the Pirates and Astros are already in the top of the 8th, so it's a pretty speedy game.
5:58 -- Yes, it's sad when ballpark prices for food and souvenirs are so high that families are forced to choose one or the other, but kids are always ready to improvise.

Labels: astros, athletics, brad ausmus, luke scott, mariners, perkins, pierogies, pirates

4:00 -- Baltimore Orioles at Minnesota Twins (ESPN and WFTC)
Pittsburgh Pirates at Houston Astros (FSN Houston)
4:01 -- Extra Innings is carrying an over-the-air game broadcast, something I haven't seen before on DirecTV. I guess the ability to do this is part of their new contract. It's from "My 29" -- well, not really mine, because it's WFTC in Minneapolis/St. Paul and KFTC in Bemidji.

4:03 -- They do a nice little tribute to Herb Carneal at the beginning of the Twins broadcast. I have to admit that he's someone who was never really on my radar.
4:05 -- I'm getting a little tired of "Magic Carpet Ride," which is the music being played during a Chevrolet ad that's been running a lot today. But I guess the members of Steppenwolf aren't getting tired of cashing their royalty checks.
4:10 -- The Orioles haven't opened a season on the road since 1977.
4:12 -- The Rockies are down 8-6 going into the bottom of the 9th, but anything can happen. 3 out of 4 Opening Day games previously played at Coors Field ended with a walk-off home run.
4:20 -- An ad read by the Rockies announcers goes, in its entirety, "Hey, if you have a crack in your windshield, call Elite Glass, number one for more than one reason." This makes the broadcast interactive, since it allows the audience to speculate endlessly about what those reasons might be.
4:24 -- True, anything could have happened, from a walk-off home run to a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"-type magical transformation causing the person in the mascot costume to turn into an actual small purple triceratops. But what actually happens in the bottom of the 9th is a double followed by three straight strikeouts. The new red uniforms worked for the D-Backs!
4:36 -- Forget C.C. Sabathia. Kent Hrbek is looking a little large now that he's retired.

4:37 -- However, while Kent Hrbek is being interviewed, the Twins hit back-to-back home runs. So whatever he's doing, it's working.
4:40 -- Very sad that the Menards guy isn't in Menards commercials anymore. At least they haven't turned him into a computer-animated character who appears at the end of the commercial as they've done with the Empire Carpet guy.
4:52 -- Shannon Stewart of the A's certainly looks different than he did when he was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for June 2000 (relatively work-safe link to Wikipedia).

Labels: astros, buffy, diamondbacks, herb carneal, kent hrbek, orioles, pirates, rockies, shannon stewart, steppenwolf, twins

There's a Cardinals version and, in honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, here's the Pirates version -- but the cutest one is, of course, the one with Li'l Mister Met. (The Angels one might be the cutest if it had monkeys -- but it doesn't.)

Levi and Mrs. Levi: are you sure you don't want kids?

Labels: angels, Cardinals, Mets, pirates

Back on March 29th, I mentioned it was a possibility, and now it's apparently official: this is the last year the Pirates will be on KDKA, so they can capture that all-important youth demographic over on the FM dial.

Labels: pirates, radio

Some notes from last night's Cubs-Pirates game, which featured the two worst teams in the league performing a sloppy "After you"/"No, I insist"/"No, no, you first"/"Well, if you insist, I'll muff this bunt" routine to see who would get the privilege of losing:


1) In my shoulder bag was a grocery sack of sage from Stacey's garden for my seatmate, Michelle. The bag inspector at the gate looked at it askance.

BI: "What's that?"
Me: Sage."
BI:"What?"
Me: "Sage. It's from a garden, for my seatmate."
BI: "What?"
Me: "Sage."
BI:"Like you put on food?"
Me:"Yeah. You can smell it."
[BI Smells it. Makes a face.]
BI: "I'm gonna have to ask about this."
Me: [Astonished] "You're kidding. Really. You're not serious."
BI: "I am, too."

She called her manager over, he took one look at it and, presumably deciding that I could neither blow up the stadium with it nor injure anyone by throwing it at them, waved me into the park.

2) During the game, the season ticket holders who sit in my section--those who bothered to attend, that is--had a discussion of whether this is the worst Cubs team we've had to watch. I've been attending games at Wrigley Field since 1993, and I've had season tickets since 1999, and I, like all the rest, weighed in with a resounding "Yes." You could argue that the 1997 team was worse, but it at least had Sammy Sosa doing his strikeout/homer/strikeout routine. This team didn't even have Derrek Lee for most of the year, and Ryan Theriot's remarkable mustache can only go so far towards making up for such bad baseball.

3) The good thing about the Cubs suffering through their third straight disappointing (and second straight flat-out bad) season is that the fair-weather fans are starting to see the storm clouds. The announced attendance for last night's game was only 32,000 or so, way down from the 40,000+ the Cubs were drawing earlier in the year. But I'd be surprised if the actual attendance was half that. In the center field bleachers the night before, the cameramen had shown a guy stretched out flat, sleeping, and he could have easily reprised his nap in any section of the bleachers last night. Meanwhile, there were only about five beer vendors working the whole of the upper deck, and nary a Super Ropes guy in sight.

It's kinda nice to be able to stretch out a little again. It reminds me of the wonderful days of 1997, pre-Kerry Wood and that first wild card run, when you could decide to go to the game day of, with three or four friends, buy upper deck tickets and sit pretty much anywhere.

So for all you folks who love Wrigley Field but have given up on attending in recent years--I'm looking at you, Bob and Luke--this is your warning: the glory days may soon be back. Start practicing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

4) Then, in the 8th of what had been a forgettable ballgame, Matt Capps hung a curve to Derrek Lee, who immediately reminded him of why his pitching coach had advised against such behavior. It was a beautiful night in a beautiful ballpark, and that moment was a good reminder of why we were there.

Labels: cubs, derrek lee, matt capps, pirates, ryan theriot, security theater, Wrigley Field

Remember, the Cardinals are no longer on KMOX. Now it's also possible that the Pirates may be leaving their longtime radio home, KDKA.

Labels: Cardinals, pirates, radio

Hey, we were just at this game!...



Bernie Brewer's slide into oblivion...



Visible at the lower left of the glass wall is a structure that we're assuming is Bud Selig's lair...



Brewers at bat...



Clock with neon bats for hands...



Racing sausages; on this night, the hot dog led wire to wire...



The final line...



Later, back in Chicago, Levi and Jim are still smiling about baseball...

Labels: brewers, brpa, miller park, milwaukee, photos, pirates, road trip

Stacey, illegally driving the rental car, met us at the Garfield stop on the Red Line, and within minutes, we were bound for Milwaukee. We had about two-and-a-half hours to make a one-and-a-half-hour drive, and, as they had been all along, the driving fates were with us, as we made Miller Park in plenty of time, navigating through the alluring commingled scents of sausage, beer, and cheese that are the City that Schlitz Made Famous.

To a one, the baseball fans I know--the low-rent, lovers of the run-down and worn that they are--loved Milwaukee’s former ballpark, County Stadium. It was, compared to the new Miller Park, small and homey, and the corrugated iron sheeting that composed its facade gave it a seemingly appropriate resemblance to a factory. Miller Park, on the other hand, is a new-style ballpark through and through. Wide concourses, lots of different stands selling lots of types of sausage, giant parking lots a marathon away from the gate, countless thousands of luxury boxes, and a tower where Bud Selig can sit and stroke his white Persian while sniggering and contemplating whether he should have his contract extended another decade. Even Bernie Brewer moved to a new, upscale home in Miller Park--against his will, I like to assume--his chateau with its front-door slide into the beer stein replaced by a high-end condo and a slide onto . . . a platform. Meanwhile, thee vegetarian food selections at Miller Park, are, as anyone with a passing knowledge of non-Madison Wisconsin would expect, not particularly distinguished or diverse. I had pizza, only discovering as we left that the Gorman Thomas stand would have sold me a Soy Dog, on which I could have put the famous--and mysterious--Stadium Sauce.

At least the sausage race continues, the Brewers still have the feel of a small-town team trying--and, usually, failing--to make good, and with the roof open, I have to admit that Miller Park isn’t that bad. We had great seats on the 8th row down the right field line, from which we had a wonderful view of plays on the infield, and a not-so-wonderful view of Craig Wilson’s shimmering golden locks in the outfield.

But, as Bart Giammatti said, though not meaning it quite so literally as it, sadly, turned out for him, the game is designed to break your heart, and the Brewers--with the able help of Daryle Ward--set about breaking ours with an efficiency any beer factory would envy. Their rookie starter, Ben Hendrickson, threw a good game, but a long home run by Daryle Ward in the second, and a second, longer home run by Ward in the seventh off a reliever gave the Pirates a 5-0 lead that the Brewers’ sadly slumbering offense couldn’t even begin to overcome. In the ninth, the Brewers scored a run off Jose Mesa, the Rungiver, on a triple and a sacrifice fly. The crowd erupted in joy, causing all four of us to look again at the scoreboard to reinforce our suspicions that, yes, that run did leave the Brewers still four back. But no one has ever said Wisconsinites don’t know how to celebrate the finer things in life, and a run is a run is a run, I suppose. I’d have raised it in solidarity, but there wasn’t time, as the Pirates quickly rang down the curtain on BRPA 2004’s winning streak.

But in this life, one savors the little victories, right? So as we drove back to our beloved Chicago, nearly running out of gas on the way, I thought of the ten games we did win, and of the exchange I overheard in the row in front of us. With one out in the Brewer ninth, a man who was at the game with another man and the other man’s ten-year-old son, said to his friend, “You want to go ahead and head out?” The friend replied, “Sure. It doesn’t matter to me.” “What about him?” asked the first man, indicating the child. “I’ll ask him.” Ask he did, and the boy said, “I’d like to stay. But do you want to go?” The man, seeing that he had raised his child in the ways of righteousness, said, “No, let’s stay.”

And stay they did. As I remember once hearing someone say, “See--everything in the world’s not made of toilet.” A fine game and a fine trip, surpassing all expectations. Thanks to everyone who came along, rooted with us, read the blog, or invented baseball all those years ago. And thanks especially to Jim, whose hard work and good company made the whole flawless trip possible. I recommend anyone who is considering any trip anywhere hire him. He’s worth the hefty price I’m sure he’d command.

Original comments...

thatbob: Last year when we went up to Miller Park, the traditional 7th inning stretch version of Beer Barrel Polka was replaced with a vote-by-applause version of some Usher or Nelly song that I couldn't fathom because I'm some kind of old man. But this year, happily, Beer Barrel Polka was back, and I think overall the blaring, rocking stadium sound system was a little better behaved. (Of course we had spent the day being aurally assaulted at Comiskey, so my perceptions may have been skewed.)

The Brittish Rounders Society: You bloody Yanks didn't invent anything. You stole the game from us!

The Native American Battagaway Society: You one to talk, paleface with bad teeth.

Jim: By the way, if it had been solely up to me, I would have chosen to root for the Pirates (because of my brief Pittsburgh-area residency). But I was just one out of four attendees at this game, and I didn't want to press the issue.

Labels: bob conrad, brewers, brpa, game report, miller park, milwaukee, pirates, road trip, stacey shintani

PNC Park seen from across the Allegheny River...



The Roberto Clemente (6th Street) bridge, conveniently enough leading straight to the stadium...



A beautiful sight, the tarp being taken off the field...



The Pittsburgh skyline...



A building with an interesting-looking courtyard space...



The Pirate Parrot...



Craig Wilson, in Warhol style...



The eyes of Jason Kendall are upon you...



The final line (washed out by the sun)...

Labels: brpa, Cardinals, photos, pirates, pittsburgh, pnc park, road trip

The day began inauspiciously, with the Waffle House that had been used as bait to get Maura out of bed at 6:15 turning out to be a boarded-up derelict. But after that, everything looked up. We reset our breakfast sights on an Eat 'n Park, a Pennsylvania favorite, then hit the road for Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh is a beautiful city these days, at the confluence of three rivers and surrounded by high hills. We rolled into the swank Hilton--with wireless Internet in all rooms!--and within minutes, rain was pouring down. But our luck held out, the rain cleared off, and we had another beautiful, sunny day for a ballgame. We met up with Maura’s friend Alison from work, who besides being a Cardinals fan is good company. She had flown out for the series and was staying at our hotel, which seemed to be about half full of Cardinals fans. Being with two MLB employees meant that we got great seats without the hassle of pulling out or opening our wallets.

PNC Park is located just down the street from the old Three Rivers Stadium, but that’s about as close to the old ballpark as this one gets in any way. The old ballpark was the worst of the cookie-cutter dual-use 1960s stadiums, big and impersonal and mostly empty. PNC, like all the new parks we’ve been to on this trip, is very open, with lots of views from the outside of the inside and vice-versa. We were on the third-base side, just past the bag, about thirty-five rows up in the lower deck, and from there we had a view of the Roberto Clemente bridge and a bit of the Pittsburgh skyline. The out-of-town scoreboard is similar to the one in Philly, but in this case, I didn’t much care what was going on out of town, because the Cardinals were busy delivering yet another defeat to the Pirates. Albert Pujols sat out, which led to this conversation one row behind me. As I listened in, I couldn’t decide whether it was an ad for MLB, an ad for, say, “Spend time with your kids. A message from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,” or, “Kids are counting on you. Don’t let them down. A message from the [see above].” You make the call:

Dad: Is that Albert Pujols?
Son: No, dad. That’s Scott Rolen.
Dad: I don’t think Pujols is even playing today.
Son: Yeah, I don’t think he is.
Dad: And he’s the main reason you wanted to come today.
Son: Yeah.
Dad: He was all you could talk about in the car on the way here.
Son: Yeah. . . . . But Scott Rolen’s pretty good, too.
Dad: Yeah. He sure is.

The Pirates scoreboard opened the game with a lengthy animation in which the Pirates' ship sank the ships of the other NL Central teams. Later, it featured the animated beginning to what turned into an on-field Pierogi race. In this race, the Pittsburgh Parrot mascot, taking his cue from Randall Simon, decked three of the pierogi in order to assist the female pierogi, Hannah Jalapeno, who had fallen at the finish line. The Parrot carried her over, to much applause.

Pierogi without legs or gender were available at the concession stands, and they came in a close second to the Comerica Park veggie pita in the vegetarian ballpark food rankings. The reason they didn't rank more highly was that, as I think Bob can vouch, you can either eat not enough pierogi--the problem with a serving at PNC--or way too many pierogi--the problem if you eat them at home. There's no middle ground, and PNC, perhaps sensibly, chose to go with too few rather than have groaning patrons unable to leave their seats at game's end.

The Cardinals got a three-run homer in the second from Reggie Sanders and a solo homer the next inning from Jim Edmonds, his third of the weekend, to give them a 5-0 lead. In the third inning, Larry Walker threw out Jose Castillo at the plate as he tried to score on a single to right. Yadier Molina took the throw and just had time to turn towards Castillo when Castillo, traveling about 75 mph, knocked him into about the twelfth row. But Yadier held on, got his brain put back in the right direction, and stayed in the game. That was a good thing, because the next inning also ended, following a patented Matt Morris semi-meltdown, with the tying run thrown out at the plate trying to score on a single to Jim Edmonds. Edmonds makes that play several times a year, running in hard to field a single and coming up throwing a strike to the plate. A few times a year, he overruns the ball and looks extremely silly, but the outs at the plate more than make up for that.

The Cardinals held on, matching their win total from all of last year and running us to 8-0 on the trip. Tomorrow, we’re on to Cleveland, where we meet up with Dan (and, presumably, get in for free again) and, I think, root for the Indians. As far as the trip goes, despite the threat of thunderstorms today, we’re into the home stretch; it feels kind of like it’s the 9th, we’re Eric Gagne, and we’re about to face Rey Ordonez, Neifi Perez, and Tom Goodwin. Our perfect record, however, is in more danger than ever: none of the remaining three games presents us with a clear favorite team to root for, and any one seems as likely to win as any other one. I have faith. 11-0, here we come.

Oh, and there are two newspaper notes. First,a demonstration of my political commitment: Despite the lead story--accompanied by a photo--being about how bunnies are thriving in Pittsburgh this year because of the wet weather, I did not buy the right-wing rag the Tribune-Review. And the Post-Gazette, which Jim did buy, included today the phrase "a throbbing mass of roaches."

Original comments...

Nancy Boland: Glad you saw a great game and advanced to an 8-0 record! Enjoyed having you for your short stay in Philly!

Toby: It was actually Ty Wigginton on the collision.

Did you guys go over the bridge where the opening scene in "Flashdance" was shot? I visited Pittsburgh with Levi's sister and some other friends in January 2003 and we went over it. How nostalgic...

thatbob: What a feeling!

Hey, I don't understand why Jim was rooting for the Cardinals over Pittsburgh this game. I'm going to consider his record to be at 7-1 until he explains himself.

thatbob: I imagine it would be very easy, but really, really mean, for a pirate ship to sink a ship full of bear cubs. And it would seem against a pirate's own interests to sink a ship full of brewers. That doesn't even make sense.

Toby: Neither do most of the personnel moves the Pirates have made the past 12 years.

Labels: brpa, Cardinals, eat 'n park, game report, maura johnston, pirates, pittsburgh, pnc park, rabbit, road trip

A view of the Gateway Arch you hardly ever get to see: the back...



Levi and Stacey in front of a fountain in downtown St. Louis...



Busch Stadium, supposedly with only two years left to live (the construction site for the new stadium is on the other side of the stadium from this view)...



The Stan Musial statue ("Here stands baseball's perfect warrior; here stand's baseball's perfect knight")...



The view from our upper-deck seats...



Fredbird...



Cardinals up to bat...



Just some of the hangers-on who joined us for the game; from left, Tony, Jim, Stacey, Levi, Luke...



Jim and Jay, another hanger-on...



The final line...

Labels: brpa, busch stadium, Cardinals, photos, pirates, road trip, st. louis

First of all, yes, the trip is going as scheduled so far. Even though it's going to say this was posted by Jim, this is actually a collaborative post, more or less, because for the first time both of us are sitting next to the same computer. This may be how we do things for the rest of the trip, or maybe not -- we'll have to see. We're at Levi's parents' house in Carmi, Illinois, right now, using their computer, and we have to get up early to get on the road, but we wanted to get a little something down.

The car we ended up with from Hertz is a 2005 Chevrolet Impala. It has a CD player but no tape deck, so we're using Vince's iTrip, which is working okay so far. Everyone in the car seemed to enjoy Jim's baseball song playlist and Luke's baseball song-and-Red-Barber-recollection playlist. Now we're working our way through Jim's "Number Ones" playlist, which is every song he owns that hit #1 on the Billboard playlist. (Playing it was Levi's request; Jim probably would have chosen something with more radio station jingles.)

On to the games. Saturday's game at John O'Donnell Stadium in Davenport is the only minor-league game on the trip. That meant it was the only game at which we could walk up and get box seats and still get change from a $20 after buying two. We bought four, so we got change from a $40. We sat 10 rows up, right behind home, in front of a row of screaming children. (You know how you hear sometimes how great the laughter of children sounds? In reality, it's shrill.)

Levi tried both vegetarian food options at the ballpark. Neither the nachos nor the fries were particularly distinguished.

The mascots, on the other hand, were almost the Famous Chicken level. The Swing's actual mascot is a man in a monkey suit who, when he's wearing the monkey suit, is known as Clyde. Clyde has a sidekick, a 4'10" man in a green-and-yellow superhero costume, complete with cape, named, of course, Banana Man. He runs around, occasionally stopping to stand heroically with arms akimbo, and occasionally stopping to throw bananas into the crowd. No explanation is offered.

The game itself was a brisk affair. The Swing center and right fielders should possibly have been players of the game due to the following incident late in the game with the Swing up by 1: with the tying run at first, a ball was hit to the wall in center. We couldn't quite see if the Swing center fielder bobbled it or not, but whatever was going on out there, it eventually ended with the outfielders' arms upraised in the universal symbol of "where the hell is the ball," most commonly seen in the major leagues at Wrigley Field when a ball gets lost in the ivy. We, being cynical city folk, doubted their story, but the umpire bought it hook, line, and sinker, the hook being the tying run being sent back to third. You can guess what the line is -- the go-ahead run being stuck at second. The sinker: a 1-0 Swing win.

Distracting everyone late in the game was a rabbit that had somehow wandered onto the field. First he was out in left field minding his own business, but somehow in all the commotion, he ended up in foul territory near home. He would sit around for a few minutes, then scamper off about 30 feet. At one point, perhaps thinking he had been called in to pitch, he sat between home and the pitcher's mound between innings. The umpire appeared to be consulting his mental rule book, but surprisingly, the Midwest League doesn't seem to have an official policy on rabbits taking up residence in the infield, so he decided it was somebody else's problem and ignored the little guy. No, not Banana Man, the rabbit. Banana Man was clearly the umpire's problem.

Eventually, the rabbit took off for parts unknown. Meanwhile, it seems that whenever a rabbit gets loose on the field, Section 5 gets handed free Blue Bunny bomb pops, or whatever they're called now that you can't say "bomb." Perhaps Tom Ridge pops. Anyway, we got to enjoy our tri-color quiescently frozen confections for the last couple of innings, with no real explanation as to how we got them.

After some interesting wandering on two-lane roads in Illinois, through Saturday night rodeo traffic, we spent a too-short night at the Country Inn and Suites in Galesburg. Bright and early Sunday, we got up and Levi spilled tea on his feet, which meant it was time to leave for St. Louis. We met up with hanger-on Tony for lunch before the game, and then met up with the various other hangers-on at the Stan Musial statue outside Busch Stadium. Inside, Jim met the final hanger-on of this busy hanger-on day, Jay, of "Jeopardy!" message board fame, who managed to get a seat right behind the main group.

Levi nearly used up a whole pencil filling in the boxes on the Cardinals' side of the scorecard today, after he finally figured out which side was supposed to be the Cardinals' side of the scorecard. He had to fill in box after box after box as the Cards scored run after run after run, as usual this season. Luke, in his Cubs shirt and cap, looked awestruck. Behind him, the fans wearing Cardinal red looked on with pity. Particularly noteworthy plays were Edgar Renteria's 13-pitch first-inning at-bat that ended in a 3-run homer; Larry Walker's grand slam; and, best of all (only best because the Cardinals were already leading by nearly a touchdown at this point), Reggie Sanders leaping high against the wall, coming down with his glove closed to cheers from the audience, and the scoreboard operator immediately putting up "HR RBI." The scoreboard operator was the only one in the stadium not fooled by Reggie's act -- well, we guess the umpires weren't fooled either; there was no joy in Gloveville, the ball had gone right out.

Immediately after the game, we found the ramp to I-64 East that hadn't been torn down for new Cardinals ballpark construction and hightailed it to Levi's hometown, Carmi, Illinois. At Levi's parents' house, we were visited by frequent baseballrelated.com commentator Toby, as well as Levi's grandparents (non-commentators).

The title quote for this post was said to Jim by the desk clerk at the Country Inn and Suites in Galesburg, explaining how he could qualify for the rate he was quoted on the AAA web site. No one asked.

All right, now we're going to bed, probably two hours later than we should have. See you in Detroit, assuming we can find an abandoned building that still has an Internet connection up and running.

Original comments...

sandor: When those buildings were abandoned, it was still callled DARPAnet, which means you're going to have to enter in your post using punchcards. I think they still sell blank ones down at the A&P.

Where are the links? I assumed Levi would gladly trade in sleep for the chance to hyperlink all possible words in this post. I was particularly looking forward to the interpretation of the words "Banana Man" as well as "Levi's grandparents."

You are playing the license plate game, right? Who's winning?

Congrats on keeping up your schedule. Keep the posts coming!

stacey: i think the lack of links was due to the late hour, combined with the fact that the internet connection at the stahl chalet is VERY slow. this is more than made up for by their amazing hospitality, though. i'm still full of delicious pasta, fresh fruit, and great company. the commute from carmi to chicago is a drag, though.

Luke, hanger-on: To flesh out the image of how this post came to be, I should note that Jim and Levi wrote together at the family computer in Levi's brother's room. Jim did the typing, employing his closed-captioning skills to take dictation from Levi, who reclined on a bean bag with a cigar and glass of port, pausing now and then to re-read that Sunday's Post-Dispatch story about the Cardinals and the clubhouse iPod.

I, meanwhile, dosed a few doors down in Levi's old bedroom, which I found impressively well-preserved. The Smithsonian should scoop it up for its exhibit on "Halcyon Childhoods of America: 1980-1989." Not surprisingly, the room betrays fascinations with Star Wars, classic rock and mullets. I could have stayed forever.

Jim: Yes, we will go back after the trip and add links, additional stuff we may have forgotten to write about, and especially photos. Or at least I will. Levi may choose to wash his hands of the whole thing, for all I know.

Labels: brpa, Cardinals, carmi, game report, jay temple, luke seemann, pirates, rabbit, road trip, stacey shintani, stahls, swing of the quad cities, tony becker, wisconsin timber rattlers

The time of the Cardinals-Pirates game on Saturday, August 28, being changed from 7:05 to 1:20? What force could possibly make that happen?

Thanks to Maura's co-worker Allison for giving us the heads-up, via Maura passing the information along to us. Levi and I consulted via phone, and we'll still be able to make all the games on the schedule, but now we won't be able to spend the night with my aunt and uncle in beautiful Yardley, Pennsylvania (actually, they live in Lower Makefield Township but have a Yardley mailing address). We'll still see them at the Phillies game, though, of course. Instead, we'll be spending the night in Harrisburg, and Maura has promised us breakfast at Waffle House.

P.S. to Levi: Yes, I'll be arriving on Thursday.

Labels: bolands, brpa, Cardinals, maura johnston, pirates, planning, road trip

Monday, August 30th happens to be one of the dates on which Brewers are offering their "Mastercard Grand Slam Ticket Pack," which is four $28 tickets and a $20 concession voucher for $75 total. So it would be nice, and money-saving, if Levi and I could find two people to join us for the 7:05 game. (It's a little unclear whether or not you can get that deal at the stadium, or if you have to buy them in advance..."seats are limited," they say, but how many people are going to show up for a non-pivotal Brewers vs. Pirates battle on a Monday night? Nevertheless, let us know as soon as possible if you want to go.)

If you wanted to also join us for the 1:05 game in Chicago involving the White Sox and Phillies, so much the better, although the Sox don't seem to have any promotions happening that day to make their tickets cheaper. I think our plan as of now is to head straight to Milwaukee immediately upon the conclusion of that game; however, if you can't make it to the Sox game but can make the Brewers, we'll work something out.

Original comments...

Levi: I'm sure my wife, for one, will attend the second game, and a second person (especially at less than $20 for a seat and some food!) will be easy to find. So go for it!

stacey: levi's right. i Would like to attend the second game. i probably can't get off work for the day game, sadly.

Jim: Does it ruin the road trip magic if we take the 'L' to the Sox game? I guess it shouldn't, since it's an "extra" game anyway.

Steve: as far as special promotions, that's a half price monday.

stacey: if you're going to take the 'L' to the sox game, i could drive the rental car to work (in hyde park) and then pick you guys up after the game at comiskey and we could shoot up to the city that beer made famous. anyone else who wanted to go could either get picked up along the way or meet us at sox park.

Jim: Thanks, Steve! I missed that. Hooray for cheap tickets! Stacey: Sounds like a good plan. I won't tell Hertz if you won't.

thatbob: Count me in for both games. BOTH games. Levi will just have to wait a couple more weeks for that money I owe him.

Jim: Yeah, you can give your money to ME instead. I have to say, we got two hangers-on faster than I thought we would. I'll go ahead and order the Brewers tickets.

Levi: I assume we'll pick up Sox tickets at the window?

The only caveat is that back before they began their current stretch of Oreck XL-quality sucking, the crowds at the walkup windows were impressive enough to cost those (like me) unprepared for their size a view of the first inning.

Jim: Even for a 1:05 P.M. game on a Monday? If Lee Elia taught us anything, it's that it's Cubs fans who don't go to work, not Sox fans.

Fear not, because I can already predict that one of the themes of this trip is going to be me attempting to get us to games ridiculously early.

Levi: Is that why I'm posting this from the Wireless Intenet kiosk in front of the Davenport Swing ballpark?

Luke, hanger-on: Have you ever had a post get to 12 comments?

Levi: I would leave Jim to answer that, if you hadn't just done so.

Labels: brewers, brpa, phillies, pirates, planning, road trip, tickets, white sox

While the Cardinals were busy losing, again and again and again, to the Pittsburgh Pirates this week, I was thinking about Pirates first baseman Randall Simon.

Who doesn't love Randall Simon? Well, a certain sausage in Milwaukee might not. And those of us who prefer our hitters to be patient and hit for power, especially if they're manning first base, well, we might have our quibbles with him once in a while, too.

But is there any baseball fan who doesn't love watching him hit? There are hundreds of impatient hitters. Rey Ordonez approaches his at-bats as if he's Cinderella at thirty seconds to midnight. Corey Patterson, until recent weeks, swung at bad pitches as if he were the pitcher's therapist and wanted him to feel good about himself. But no one I've ever seen combines a burning desire to hit every single pitch with an incomprehensible ability to hit just about every single pitch.

Sure, a lot of the balls he hits get fouled off. Or popped up. And he's never hit for real power. But that takes nothing away from my marveling at his sheer ability to introduce bat to ball. Shoetops, helmet-high, inside, outside, in the dirt. It's never mattered much to Simon. He's a superhero of hacking.

And he's chubby. Even rotund.

Though Simon's career on-base percentage of .328 is abysmal, his .297 batting average has enabled him to keep a major league job for seven years. But I worry that the end is near: It's only 100 at-bats, but Simon's line this year is .210/.292/.280 is bad. He's not striking out much more than usual, with 10, but he's also not hitting for any power at all, with only 4 doubles and 1 home run. If he doesn't come back strong in the second half, even the lowly Pirates (see the first sentence of this post) might let him go.

Who knows what the problem is? Maybe his bat speed is slowing just enough, though you would expect that to be reflected in increased strikeouts. Maybe he's been unlucky.

But I have a new pet theory. Remember in the spring of 1998, when New Sammy burst on the scene, no longer flailing at curveballs in the dirt? Maybe Simon's the Bizarro Sammy: he's more than doubled his walk rate, from a career rate of one walk per 23.5 at-bats to this year's rate of one every 11 at-bats. Maybe that's the problem: he's being too selective. That goes counter to everything I understand about hitting, but we're talking about Randall Simon. Anything's possible.

So my advice is to hack away, Randall. I think you shouldn't take another pitch this season. Not a one.

If my advice works, Pirates fans can thank me later by beating the Cardinals' rivals down the stretch.

Original comments...

Steve: You're a regular Charlie Lau or whatever the hell that guy's name is.

Toby: Ahh yes, thank you, Levi, for highlighting another in a long string of Pirate first baseman who really suck. I can trace it all the way back to the early 80s and Jason Thompson, who replaced "Pops" Stargell. Yes, I know Willie wasn't really a first baseman--he played there late in his career, but still, he was the last good first baseman they had.

I liked Sid Bream when he played there, but then he went to Atlanta and then in that game 7 in 1992, he slid home with the winning run... So, now I pretty much hate him.

Man, I've been on vacation all week and must have built up some real anger. Sorry about that.

Labels: Cardinals, corey patterson, pirates, randall simon, rey ordonez, sammy sosa

I'm surprised Levi didn't mention this in the previous entry: that Cardinals-Pirates game that was rained out on Tuesday is most likely going to be made up as part of a doubleheader when the Pirates next visit St. Louis...which happens to be August 19th through 22nd, coinciding with our planned visit on the 22nd. So what are the odds they'll choose to do a Sunday doubleheader, and we'll get to see two games?

Original comments...

Levi: Have you worked up a doubleheader itinerary, in case every game we see ends up being a doubleheader? Can we make all the games if that happens?

And, on a side note, you do have a passport, right? Because I don't think they let you into Canadia without one these days.

Jim: If every game ends up being a doubleheader? I don't think that's going to happen unless we get some "Day After Tomorrow"-style weather within the next couple of months but things clear up by mid-August. For now, the doubleheader plan involves getting up earlier and/or driving faster.

Yes, I have a passport. Don't you have every post on this blog memorized?

Levi: I know it's unlikely that every game would end up a doubleheader, but do you want to be caught short if that happens? What's the only thing more impressive than ten games in ten cities in ten days? Why, it's 20 games in 20 cities in ten days!

Jim: I think you mean 20 games in 10 cities in 10 days, unless you're thinking the doubleheaders are going to be long enough that the home team is going to relocate between the two games. Which is a possibility for the Expos, I guess.

Labels: brpa, Cardinals, pirates, planning, rain, road trip

Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Craig Wilson has so far gotten insufficient (read: zero) attention at this site for his fantastic new hairdo.

I bet he's muttering about East Coast media bias at his locker before games as he thumbs through the paper and sees photo after photo of Johnny Damon's hair and beard.

So here's to Craig Wilson and his gloriously flowing golden locks. We come from the land of the ice and snow, indeed!

P.S. My friend Downtown Toby Brown says I'm in trouble if, on our trip, I root for the Brewers to beat the Pirates. Toby's long-suffering Pirates fandom does deserve our support, so I guess I'll be rooting for the eyepatch and parrot over the suds and brats.

Original comments...

Jim: Ah, yes, now I recall that during the Pirates-Phillies game I watched way back on Opening Day, the Pirates announcers were being effusive in their praise of Craig Wilson's hairdo, comparing him to Johnny Damon (but also pointing out that with his blond hair, a Johnny Damon-style beard wouldn't look as good on him).

Steve: Golden locks my ass! As soon as he takes that helmet off you're looking at a mullet pure and simple. Just be careful if you try to talk to him about his hair or get his autograph on your upcomming trip. He might go Geddy Lee on you.---"Living in a fisheye lens/Caught in the camera eye/I have no heart to lie I can't pretend a stranger is/A long awaited friend"

stacey: Thing One: Johnny Damon makes my heart swell with love and hapa pride.

Thing Two: Sorry, Toby. Although pirates also make my heart swell, beer and brats and proximity win. At least until I meet an actual pirate, at which point I can reassess.

Labels: craig wilson, pirates

Some thoughts on yesterday's Cubs opener:

1) The forecast, for once, was right on: 40 degrees, with a 20mph wind out of the northeast. That's like having a personal wind just for my season ticket seat. So it was cold.

2) Sadly, no one wore a balaclava like Shawon Dunston used to do. I always felt like it was a form of protest from Dunston, saying, essentially, if you guys are going to force me to be out here in this shit, I'm going to look as silly as I can.

3) None of the players seemed to be playing with the urgency of people who realized how absurdly cold it was until the 6th inning, when three Pirates struck out, a couple of them on "We've got a six-run lead and my fingers hurt" kind of swings.

4) Not content with raising my ticket price 70% (from $10 to $17) in six years (and more than 100% in the twelve seasons I've been going to Wrigley Field), the Cubs seem in the last couple offseasons to have spent most of their time trying to figure out how to bring in more billions. Two seasons ago, they added silly little Sears ads by the dugouts. Last year, they added really tacky-looking LED screens along the roof of the upper deck in right and left. This year, they've replaced the three light boards--the one below the scoreboard in center and the two along the facade of the upper deck--with LED screens. So now we've got McDonald's ads in center field during play. What's their slogan these days? Gotta love it?
I half expect to show up for Opening Day next year and find the outfield grass mowed in the shape of a McRib.

5) Public address announcer Paul Friedman welcomed "those Cubs fans watching from the rooftops." The request did not elicit the booing that the whole enterprise--and the strongarming the Cubs gave it--deserves.

6) The Cubs lost. Badly. I only lasted six innings, the fierce cold and wind overcoming my desire not to start the season with an incomplete entry in my book of scorecards.

Original comments...

Levi: By the way: I am a little bit embarrassed that I only lasted six innings. I don't regret it, seeing as seven or eight of the thirteen walks the Cubs issued came after I left. But you'd think that, dressed for the cold, I could hold out longer.

Luke, hanger-on: Didn't Stacey give you her flask to keep you warm?

Labels: cubs, pirates, shawon dunston, Wrigley Field

I have been informed that, for budgetary reasons, my company no longer has Pirates tickets. So it looks like we'll have to pay for our seats in Pittsburgh.

Labels: brpa, pirates, planning, road trip, tickets