Baseball-Related Program Activities

Early in tonight's Red Sox-Indians game at Fenway Park, the Fox TV cameras spotted lifelong Sox fan Stephen King reading in the stands. Now, as I've admitted before, I read at the ballpark--but only when I'm alone, and only between innings. King, on the other hand, was reading during the game.

He fully redeemed himself later, though. When sideline reporter Chris Myers sat next to him and asked him about being caught reading, King responded:

With baseball, you can read eighteen pages just in the inning breaks. And now that Fox is doing the games, you can read twenty-seven pages because the commercial breaks are longer!

Now if only he'd thought to describe, in bloodcurdling detail, what he thought should happen to Scooter the talking baseball.

Postscript: Too bad the Red Sox weren't playing the Yankees--Stephen King could have probably written a whole novel about their zombie problem.

{Animated gif of zombie Shelley Duncan by rocketlass.}

Labels: Scooter, Shelley Duncan, Stephen King, zombies

Hang around me and Stacey long enough, and you're sure to hear us speculating about the dangers of the coming zombie apocalypse. We'll enter a building and note whether the doors open in (bad) or out (good); we'll speculate on whether a bow is a good anti-zombie weapon (no, because eventually you're going to have to go get the arrows); we'll weigh the merits of having a zombie apocalypse supply cache (shotgun, ammo, canned brains) versus having a bird flu apocalypse supply cache (water, hand crank radio, forty pounds of peanut butter).

Well, after paying close attention to Friday night's Yankees-Tigers game, we're beginning to wonder whether we were focused on the wrong danger. The coming disaster isn't a zombie apocalypse . . . it's a Giambi apocalypse.



Several times during the game, Fox's X-treme Close-up Camera caught Derek Jeter lifting his cap off his large head and adjusting it. The next shot, inevitably, would be of Zombie Giambi, eyes rolling and mouth wide, in near-ecstasy at the thought of Jeter's delectable brains.



So in anticipation of the Giambi Apocalypse, what should we put in our supply cache? After this weekend, I know two things: Kenny Rogers and, just to be safe, this guy.

Labels: derek jeter, jason giambi, kenny rogers, tony la russa, yankees, zombies

Jim, with whom I failed to see a baseball game last week while I was staying with him in Los Angeles, alerted me to a USA Today story about those hip graphics Fox uses for their football coverage.

Fox, known as the NFL's most flamboyant carrier, is even cutting back on its glitz.

The network surveyed viewers, Fox senior vice president Gary Hartley says, and found that Fox's many sound effects, blinking lights and animated graphics were seen as "pointless and annoying."

So they'll be reduced. However, he says, Fox is bringing back the
on-screen robots that pop up on its coverage: "We found we've lost some
of the attitude we've projected in the past. Robots are sacred ground
for that."

Did they really need to survey more than one person to come up with "pointless and annoying?" Could baseball be next? I can think of a certain talking baseball that I would describe with just those words--if I you limited me to family-friendly language.

And what the hell do they mean by "robots are sacred ground for [attitude]?" These people are very, very strange.

Labels: robots, tv, zombies

Some sharp person at McSweeney's has answered all of those lingering questions we've all had about
what we could expect were we to add a zombie to our fantasy baseball team. In doing so, he gives a fairly good overview of what a zombie would bring to (or take from (hint: it's gray)) a real team.

Thanks to Luke for pointing me to this important information.

I think the only city we're visiting where we'll be in real danger of finding ourselves in the midst of a zombie attack is Detroit, because, well, what other cities have more downtown hiding places for enterprising zombies?

Original comments...

thatbob: Nonsense! You'll be in Pittsburgh, zombie capital of the world!

Jim: "All you zombies, hide your faces."

You want us to bring you back some Iron City beer from the 'Burgh?

thatbob: BEEEEER!!!

Labels: zombies