The Searchers

I noticed today that around a dozen people had been led to my other blog this weekend by searching for “Jason Giambi thong.” So, steeling myself against the hideous assortment of possible discoveries that flitted through my clearly too-active mind, I plugged those terms into {a popular search engine that may or may not employ Jim} and discovered . . . this.

Apparently Giambi is the owner of a gold lame thong, which he dons when he feels the need for some supernatural help in breaking a slump. But that’s not the worst of it: he also has on occasion lent this thong to teammates who felt a similar need! Derek Jeter and Johnny Damon have both admitted to wearing it. Jeter told the Daily News,

“I had it over my shorts and stuff. I was 0-for-32 and I hit a homer on the first pitch. That’s the only time I’ve ever worn it.”

{Editorial note: wouldn’t you have expected “and stuff” to be in brackets?}

I’ll leave you with a hypothetical question for those Yankee fans out there: is winning worth this? Will you ever be able to sleep again, having pictured Jason Giambi in a gold thong? Would a quiet last-place finish really be so bad?

One thought on “The Searchers”

  1. I’m not even sure I’d be willing to wear it over my shorts.

    Maybe over a pair of briefs, a pair of boxer briefs, two pairs of shorts, and a pair of jeans that’s had the zipper area sealed shut with Magic Putty. Also, the thong would need to be wrapped in several layers of Saran Wrap or Glad Wrap (no store brands).

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