I’m sure the question on everyone’s mind is how the Red Sox victory was portrayed by television shows taking place in Boston. I haven’t heard anything about a special “Cheers” reunion, so all we have is David E. Kelley’s “Boston Legal,” which treated it in typical David E. Kelley fashion on Sunday’s episode. Turns out William Shatner’s character Denny Crane wanted to do two things before he died: see the Red Sox win the World Series, and have sex with a one-legged woman. After the first one came true, he was driving down the street when he saw a limping woman on the sidewalk, pulled over, ended up offering her a trip to Belize, and found out she was an undercover cop with two legs. Later, Denny and his colleague Alan Shore (played by James Spader) are in the chambers of judge Bill…
Bill: You thought she had one leg.
Denny: A trip to Belize is a fair and square deal, Bill. Hell, if I had a nickel for every woman I promised to marry in exchange for sexâ€¦ Actually, I do.
Bill: Iâ€™m supposed to believe this? Your father told you the best sex was to be had with amputees, you saw this woman limping, and you were simply overcome?
Alan: Youâ€™re leaving out the most important fact here, your honor.
Bill: Which is?
Alan: The Red Sox. For years, many years, they have, at one time or another, made each and every one of us insane. Last October, when they lost the seventh game to the Yankees, crime went up in this city. Itâ€™s already predicted weâ€™ll have a flood of August babies next year from celebration-induced pregnancies. The Red Sox make us lose ourselves, and in the wake of that team giving us what our hearts have yearned for all our lives, our parents and grandparentsâ€™ lives, we have fallen victim to a delirium that makes us believe anything â€“ anything is possible, including, but not limited to, the notion that God put a fetching one-legged woman in this manâ€™s path to commemorate the end of a wretched, horrible curse.
Denny: You know me, Bill. I have hookers all the time. They come to my house. Why would I pull over to the side of the road?
Bill: Go. Beat it.
Alan: Thank you, sir.
Denny: Buy you a drink, counsel?
Alan: Iâ€™d love to, but I have to tend to some business with a much less reasonable judge.
Denny: Thank you, Bill. (Pause) Whoâ€™s your daddy?
Near the end of the episode, there’s a touching scene in which Alan brings a one-legged woman to Denny’s office, and they toast the Red Sox.
Lucas: That was a pretty good episode.
Steve: Lots of good “baseball-related” stuff from the past few days. Wonder who will be the first to weigh in….
Levi: This week is one of my busiest of the year, but I hope to get to at least a roundup on Monday. Cause you’re right: lotsa stuff happening. Like the White Sox being interested in Carlos Beltran!
Dan: I’ll repeat this, I’m sure, with the roundup. But leave it to Denny Neagle and Jose Lima to make Jason Giambi’s admission of sticking a needle in his ass seem boring. Best offseason week evah!