I bet he’s muttering about East Coast media bias at his locker before games as he thumbs through the paper and sees photo after photo of Johnny Damon’s hair and beard.
So here’s to Craig Wilson and his gloriously flowing golden locks. We come from the land of the ice and snow, indeed!
P.S. My friend Downtown Toby Brown says I’m in trouble if, on our trip, I root for the Brewers to beat the Pirates. Toby’s long-suffering Pirates fandom does deserve our support, so I guess I’ll be rooting for the eyepatch and parrot over the suds and brats.
Jim: Ah, yes, now I recall that during the Pirates-Phillies game I watched way back on Opening Day, the Pirates announcers were being effusive in their praise of Craig Wilson’s hairdo, comparing him to Johnny Damon (but also pointing out that with his blond hair, a Johnny Damon-style beard wouldn’t look as good on him).
Steve: Golden locks my ass! As soon as he takes that helmet off you’re looking at a mullet pure and simple. Just be careful if you try to talk to him about his hair or get his autograph on your upcomming trip. He might go Geddy Lee on you.—“Living in a fisheye lens/Caught in the camera eye/I have no heart to lie I can’t pretend a stranger is/A long awaited friend”
stacey: Thing One: Johnny Damon makes my heart swell with love and hapa pride.
Thing Two: Sorry, Toby. Although pirates also make my heart swell, beer and brats and proximity win. At least until I meet an actual pirate, at which point I can reassess.