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I believe this is supposed

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to be a comprehensive review of Ichiro’s career:

Perhaps he should think about adopting the ankle-length blue hair seen in this video as his real-life hairstyle…but I have a feeling that if anyone’s going to do that, it’s going to be Brian Wilson.

Wait, I’ve had this dream

Gwinnett Ballet Theater dancers in a promotion with the Gwinnett Braves. From

the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Sales pitch

I got a phone call today from the Angels selling season ticket plans. Despite the single-game tickets I’ve bought over the last decade-plus, this is the first time I’ve ever been called by a salesperson from any team — never the Angels previously, not the Dodgers, not any of the teams we’ve seen on the road trips.

My guess is that

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the Angels hired some extra people in the ticket department due to Pujols, and now to give them all something to do, they’re going further down the lead sheet than they would have in the past. Fortunately, I got the salesperson off the phone quickly when I said I’d just lost my job — no, wait, I guess that was unfortunate, right?

Anyway, Levi might be happy to know that Pujols didn’t come up during the brief conversation, so at least they’re not leading with him.

Cardinals championship ruins joke

In 1996, I sent Levi a condolence card after the National League Championship Series, in which the Braves came back from being down 3 games to 1 to the Cardinals (including a 14-0 win at Busch Stadium in Game 5).

In 2004, I sent Levi a condolence card after the

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Red Sox swept the Cardinals in the World Series.

This year, if the Rangers had won in Game 6 or Game 7, what I would have sent Levi is some random sort of greeting card — perhaps a My Little Pony birthday card that would normally be intended for a 5-year-old girl — and writing in it, “I asked my friend Tony La Russa to call and order a condolence card.”

Of course, I don’t think Levi necessarily minds that he didn’t get to fully enjoy that joke.

Oh, no — oh, yes!

Guess I should say a few words about Matt Garza’s no-hitter last night, which I watched in its entirety on ESPN. Hopefully there won’t be any claims that the no-hitter wasn’t all that impressive because it came against the beset-by-injury Tigers. The play that really “saved” it was a running catch by right fielder Ben Zobrist in the third inning. On our trip, we saw him make a similar catch, when he was playing center

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field on July 2nd — Levi put “8!” on his scoresheet, so you can tell it was good. To our Mets-fan hangers-on, who have been waiting for a no-hitter since before they were born: sorry. But, hey, there are still two months left in this Year of the Pitcher.