Stephen King on Fox

Early in tonight’s Red Sox-Indians game at Fenway Park, the Fox TV cameras spotted lifelong Sox fan Stephen King reading in the stands. Now, as I’ve admitted before, I read at the ballpark–but only when I’m alone, and only between innings. King, on the other hand, was reading during the game.

He fully redeemed himself later, though. When sideline reporter Chris Myers sat next to him and asked him about being caught reading, King responded:

With baseball, you can read eighteen pages just in the inning breaks. And now that Fox is doing the games, you can read twenty-seven pages because the commercial breaks are longer!

Now if only he’d thought to describe, in bloodcurdling detail, what he thought should happen to Scooter the talking baseball.

Postscript: Too bad the Red Sox weren’t playing the Yankees–Stephen King could have probably written a whole novel about their zombie problem.

{Animated gif of zombie Shelley Duncan by rocketlass.}

Even more from "Faithful"

All is forgiven, Stephen King: “The hapless Devil Rays will be more hapless still if Ivan, third and worst hurricane to menace Florida in the last thirty days, blows away their JuiceDome down there in Tampa; like a certain unlucky Jew, they may be doomed to simply wander, dragging their dusty equipment bags behind them, playing everywhere and always batting in the top of the first. ‘We once had a home,’ they’ll tell those who will listen. ‘It wasn’t very full, and most of the folks who showed up were old, many equipped with shunts and pee bags, but by God it was ours.’

At the end of the book, it’s fairly obvious that the day after the Sox won the World Series, the publisher was screaming at Stephen King and Stewart O’Nan on the phone: “Just get us the manuscript now so we can get the book out before Christmas!”

More from "Faithful"

Poor Stephen King, on the West Coast while the Yankees and Red Sox are playing in late July: “With no NESN, I was reduced to the coverage in the Saturday Los Angeles Times — which, due to their ridiculous infatuation with the Dodgers, was skimpy.”

I would guess that the Los Angeles Times is less infatuated with the Dodgers than the Boston Globe is with the Red Sox, if only because there are two major league baseball teams within the Times’ home delivery area, and they try to serve both constituencies. In fact, it was probably the amount of Angels coverage that kept them from putting a longer Yankees-Red Sox story in that morning’s paper. They’ve definitely had more Angels articles than Dodgers articles this offseason, because of the name change foolishness. Speaking of which, ESPN is going to be using “LAA” in the score box on any Angels games they broadcast this year, and they don’t even have the same owner as the Angels anymore!

Original comments…

Jason: Imagine that – a city newspaper writing a whole lot about their local baseball team.

Since the Angels are now “LAA”, does this mean the Dodgers will be “LAD”?

Jim: Yes, based on “NYY” and “NYM,” the Dodgers will be “LAD,” unless they try to get clever and go with LAN (for “National”).

Levi: I hope they abbreviate DC as “DC-(N)” as if they’re a politician.

One more baseball book

As it turned out, I also received from my father as a Christmas gift “Faithful: Two Diehard Boston Red Sox Fans Chronicle the Historic 2004 Season.” (It just showed up the other day because combined it and some other items into an order with “Wonderfalls,” which wasn’t released until February 1st.)

The book is kind of structured like a blog, with dated entries from both Stewart O’Nan and Stephen King, interspersed with excerpts from e-mail conversations between the two of them. I, of course, couldn’t resist immediately flipping ahead to the entries for August 24 and August 26. For August 24, Stephen King writes about trying to pick up the game on the radio while driving around downtown Boston, and then getting back to his hotel and finding out they don’t have NESN, the cable home of the Red Sox, and Stewart O’Nan writes about the actual game, mainly Doug Mirabelli’s 3-run homer. For August 26, Stewart O’Nan writes about Bronson Arroyo: “Tonight he has his curve working and shuts down the Tigers for 7-1/3, giving up only an unearned run in a clutch 4-1 win.” Stephen King’s August 27 entry mentions the Dan Shaughnessy column from that morning’s Boston Globe, although he claims that the headline was “Dark Days Appear to Be Long Gone,” and I have scanned evidence that the headline was “Dark Days Have Hit the Road.” Perhaps this means that some of Stephen King’s other writing is less than accurate; I’m not sure if I believed all that about the girl with telekinetic powers wreaking havoc at her prom when I saw it. Or maybe they changed the headline for the later edition.

Anyway, starting back at the beginning of the book now, I’m only as far as spring training. Maura will perhaps appreciate what Stewart O’Nan says about the Red Sox’s spring training home: “Fort Myers is an endless grid of strip malls and stoplights, and everyone drives like they’re either having a heart attack or trying to find an emergency room for someone who is. We fly past Mattress World, Bath World, Rug World. It’s Hicksville, Long Island, with palm trees and pelicans.”

Original comments…

maura: but … is there an ikea??