Major League Baseball reminds you to buckle up. Remember that, Levi, when you’re driving home from Wrigley Field…oh, wait. Actually, what I love is the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration spokesman’s awkward attempt to tie the message into baseball: “Just like a player would never face a 95 mph fastball without a helmet…” It’s almost up to the level of a fake advertising slogan Dave Barry came up with in a column some years back: “Hit a home run against nasal discharge!”
(Despite my mockery of the press release, I do agree with the underlying message. Why, I wear my seat belt at all times, except when I need to lean way out to use the drive-thru ATM or grab the Double-Double from the person working the drive-thru window at In-n-Out. But the car is stopped at those times, assuming I’ve correctly shifted into “park.”)
Levi: But what does Spider-Man have to say about buckling up?
Jim: “Since you probably can’t quickly shoot a protective stream of sticky webbing out of your wrists if it looks like you’re about to get into an accident…”
spidey: With the power of a drivers license comes the responsibility to buckle up.
Dr. Octopus: Don’t listen to him, the web-slinging fool!