Month: July 2004

Good day, bad mom

Any day that the Cardinals and Cubs both have off is a bad day. Not as bad as a day when the Cardinals lose, but pretty lousy.

In part to make up for those teams having an off-day yesterday, I sneaked out of work at noon with my coworker, Peter, an Angels fan, to go see the Sox play the Angels. It was an exciting game on a beautiful day. When the Sox got runners at the corners with one out, the Angels called Jose Guillen in to play at the second base position while they shifted the second baseman to the left side to join the shortstop; Guillen went to the dugout to borrow someone’s infield glove. When you have five infielders and they’re all playing up on the grass, it looks like a wall of fielders. So Juan Uribe hit it over them, way over them and off the left-center-field wall for a long game-winning single.

Around the third inning, a couple of women showed up with about ten kids in tow, ranging in age from about 5 to 9. Each kid had a plastic cup of some particularly noxious-looking red slush. They sat a few rows behind us and watched the game. Then, in the 8th inning, with the Sox down 8-5, I heard the lead mom say, “OK. It’s time to go. Put down your cups [of particularly noxious-looking red stuff] and come along.”

Just as I was about to turn and give the mom the glare I usually reserve for SUV drivers who run red lights while talking to their broker on two phones, I heard a boy pipe up, Oliver-like, “But the game’s not over.”

It wasn’t an exclamation; it was more a combination of clear statement of fact and implied question. “Exactly!” I thought. “That kid gets it. That kid is going to go far. Reserve the Oval Office, because I’m ready to vote for that straight-talking kid as soon as he hits 35.”

But the kid might as well have been Helen Thomas in the briefing room, the way the mom Ari-Fleischered him. She ignored him. He might as well have spoken in Ancient Assyrian. She didn’t even pretend there was a legitimate answer to his statement. The kids filed out, the Sox tied the game, then won it, and everyone got back to Rolling Forest Meadowsville Park Hills half an hour earlier.

My only hope is that the boy’s clarity of thought, his sharpness of understanding, are not damaged in coming years by his mother’s obvious lack of same. I have little hope, though. We all know that the sins of the fathers have a habit of redounding unto the seventh generation; can the sins of the mothers be any less malevolent?

Original comments…

Toby: My only hope is that word of this post doesn’t get back to the mom, who, in turn, sues Levi for the emotional pain it has inflicted on her.

Jason: Levi could always countersue her for the emotional pain *he* had to suffer because she took her kids home early.

He could even try pinning child endangerment on her, as well.

Becky S: Sheesh, what kind of values are people teaching their kids these days? My brother once dumped a woman because she wanted to leave a Phillies game during extra innings. He’s gonna make a great dad!

Levi: Should I have called DCFS? I don’t have a phone, but I bet I could have borrowed one for the sake of the child.

The Golden Years

Despite my crankiness in the comments to Jim’s post about the Sports Illustrated piece about baseball being in good shape right now, I do agree with the general premise. We’re in a great era for baseball.

Over the weekend, which we spent being rained and eaten by John Kruk-sized mosquitoes in Door County, Wisconsin, I was reminded of one example of why it’s a good time to be a baseball fan. I thought of this recently when we were in Lake Tahoe and I was reading the Sacramento Bee, and it came to mind again while I was reading the Green Bay Press-Gazette last weekend.

Both cities, lacking major league baseball teams, cover teams from nearby cities, with the Bee leaning towards Oakland but covering the Giants as well, and the Press-Gazette covering the Brewers. But, their home cities being medium-sized, the papers don’t have extensive sports sections. They run bare-bones box scores. You get the at-bats, runs, hits, RBI. You get basic pitcher stats. You get the time of game and the umpires. And at best, you get a capsule summary of a paragraph or so to go with the box score.

Which brings me to my point. I’m spoiled. Reading a big-city paper or two or three every day, I’m used to getting the bells and whistles on my box scores. I want the pitch count, batters’ walks, batting average, details of the types of errors made.

And that’s just the beginning. When I moved up here in 1992, the expanded box score and the capsule summaries were my only way to follow Cardinals games that I couldn’t pick up on KMOX. Once in a while, I got to see a Post-Dispatch at a newsstand. But most days, I was deprived of a lot of
the fun of following a major league team: I got no rumors, no human-interest stories, no detailed stories of exciting wins. And, lacking cable, I got no replays.

Twelve years later, being away from the Internet and a big-city paper for a few days reminds me of just how much things have changed. I now have more baseball information than I could ever use, from all the stats in baseball history to great Cardinals commentary to the Post-Dispatch. And, though the design sucks (I keep hoping a certain Major League Baseball employee will get it fixed.), mlb.com is fantastic. The audio portion alone makes it a godsend to people like me rooting for out of town teams. Add in the video highlights (like a bit of thievery by Jim Edmonds that’s currently available on the Cardinals site), and you’ve got the best thing Major League Baseball has done since barring Pete Rose.

Add in all the other reasons already discussed in the earlier post, and it’s sure a good time to be a baseball fan.

Original comments…

maura: oh, starla.com, how i coveted you back in the day…

Levi: Yeah, I should probably fix that so it links to, say, your page instead of Hasbro’s.

Ok. Now it does.

Jason: What were you doing in Door County?

Levi: Not making a documentary about Wisconsin. Instead, we were camping. In the rain and a mosquito convention.

Well, I haven’t left for New York yet

The Sports Illustrated cover curse strikes again! The Devil Rays have a losing record since the “10 things that are awesome about baseball” issue came out last Thursday with their name mentioned on the cover (2-4), and now with his blown save today, Eric Gagne is not quite so awesome anymore. The other items specifically listed: “Perfect Randy Johnson,” “Yankee Economics,” and “Must-see Barry Bonds.” So let’s see: Randy Johnson gets hypnotized into thinking he’s a chicken, Barry Bonds falls into a bottomless pit…

Last word on the flag flap

On Saturday morning, Bush signed an order raising flags back to full staff in advance of Independence Day. So we were only officially mourning Reagan for 27 or 28 days. Some of the flags around here are still at half-staff, so either they didn’t read the “brief” in Saturday’s paper, or there was a separate order from Governor Schwarzenegger that I’m unaware of. (The LAPD station near my apartment had their flag at half-staff this afternoon, but a Burbank fire station was flying theirs at full-staff, to name the two government facilities I noticed.)

I’m leaving for New York early Tuesday morning, and probably won’t have computer access until I get back late Sunday. I intend to go to the Yankees-Devil Rays game Thursday night, but may be going solo because certain people have to work, or so they claim.

Perhaps while I’m gone, everyone can complain about the All-Star Game selections. Where’s Victor Zambrano and his awesome June?! Where’s Maura’s favorite player?! Why can’t I do a write-in on this “final vote” thing?!

Also, Ditka doesn’t look any better in HD

This evening, I saw the last four innings of the White Sox-Cubs game in high-definition. I’m still not convinced that HD offers that much of an advantage over the standard-definition picture I get via DirecTV (which has that crisp “digital” look anyway), although I guess I could have counted the blades of grass on the field if I’d been really bored.

What was really ridiculous, aside from the fact that the game ended with the winning run being walked in: the commercials on ESPN HD are in standard-definition, and movie ads are letterboxed, so when one of them is on, there’s a lot of “blank” real estate on the screen. Oh, and the score box looks a little weird because it isn’t all the way over to the left. So, in conclusion, I’m not spending several thousand dollars for a new TV. Also, I’d have to move, since there’s a tree between my current apartment and the DirecTV satellite that delivers most of their HD programming.

11. Intestinal parasites!

The new issue of Sports Illustrated contains an article titled “10 Reasons Why Baseball Is Awesome Now,” or something like that. Their reasons:

1. A lot of teams are still in contention for playoff spots (more teams are within 5 games of at least a wild card spot at this point in the season than in any year since the current playoff format was adopted).
2. Attendance and TV ratings are up.
3. The Yankees are a big draw, both at home and on the road.
4. Devil Rays!
5. They’re about to announce what they’re going to do with the Expos. (Speaking of which, they’re playing the Blue Jays this weekend in San Juan instead of, I don’t know, somewhere in Canada?! Well, at least no one will be able to point to a sudden uptick in attendance if there’s a lawsuit seeking to block the move.)
6. Padres!
7. Randy Johnson! Tom Glavine! Roger Clemens!
8. Barry Bonds!
9. There’s going to be an international baseball tournament next March.
10. Eric Gagne!

Comments? Additions? Reasons why baseball sucks, instead?

Original comments…

Levi: I have as little interest as humanly possible in an international baseball tournament. In fact, I’m kind of actively against it. If there’s one thing I don’t need to see again, it’s a stadium of people shouting “USA! USA! USA!”

Actually, I’m always bugged by these lists because of their premise. Look, baseball’s always there. That’s one of its greatest charms. If you’re too busy with other things to pay attention, that’s your loss. Even when they were talking all through the nineties about how baseball was in trouble, attendance was at astonishingly high levels compared to all of baseball history except like 1990-93. It was way high compared to other sports. Revenues were up across the board. And despite a few remarkably mismanaged teams (Sorry, Toby), nearly every team had a shot at the postseason at some point in the decade.

But despite my complaining, I’ll take good news and positive coverage wherever. The Yanks/Red Sox game the other night, on _cable_, won the time slot in NYC. That’s unbelievable for a regular-season game.

And I’d add one more thing to this list: the Cubs. Anytime the Cubs are this successfull, in winning and attendance, it’s good for baseball.

stacey: it should be noted that levi is not always this cranky. he accidentally slept in this morning, and that probably accounts for this grouchy post.

ps: eric gagne is on the all-cute team!

Levi: Yeah, that probably sounded crankier than it should have. The reasons the guy gives are all good, and they’re all fun aspects of this season.

Eric Gagne is so awesome he should be two reasons. And Scott Rolen’s defense should be a reason all by itself.

Steve: I just want to vote that the Padres are decidedly uncool. They may have a new stadium, they may have my initials on their hat, and San Diego may be the home of Mandy Stadtmiller but their uniform looks like a college or minor league team. I could be talking out the other end here but I can’t help but think they are going out of their way to be PC and disavow their “padre-ness” in the wake of the catholic church sex scandal. Instead, they should embrace it. Can’t you see the headlines, “Wells, Beck, Bugger Dodgers.”

Jim: Their mascot, the Swinging Friar, was very visible at the game I went to at Petco Park in May.

Toby: I got some reasons why baseball sucks now
–3 1/2-hour games
–Interleague play (two teams meeting in the World Series that have already played each other)
–Fat managers wearing uniforms (no other sport does this)
–I can’t go one *#!@ing summer without seeing a replay of Fancisco Cabrerra’s hit to win the 1992 NLCS (as if I don’t see that whole inning enough in my own nightmares)
–An average family’s cost to go to a game – approx. $80
–No Jack Buck anymore (and though I used to always defend him when people put him down, Mike Shannon isn’t nearly as good without him)
–Paying for autographs
–No more powder blue road uniforms
–Does every team need a new park every four or five years???
–Too many teams
–A good ERA is in the mid 3’s
And most of all
–An unprecedented 14 years of sucking for the once-proud franchise known as the Pittsburgh Pirates. They will never compete again.

(The point, in case you missed it, is that any sport is fun when your team is winning… and not so much when they’re losing… though my last-place team just swept Levi’s first-place team)

Luke: File under suck:

ESPN’s behind-the-plate ads, seen on TV (fugly!)

ESPN’s behind-the-plate ads, seen in person (fuglier!)

ESPN making Wrigley games night games so I can’t go

Retractable roofs

Fewer double headers

Major League Baseball allowing into the park fans who do not intend to stay for the entire game

MLB allowing fans into the park after the first pitch

Absence of European soccer-style relegation, which would deal nicely with the problem of too many teams

Beers more than $3

Tribune Co.

Rooftop owners

Tribune Co. vs. Rooftop owners

Warm-up jerseys worn during games (especially at home)

The off-season

File under awesome:

3 1/2 hour games!

Fat managers wearing uniforms!

My team winning

Derek Jeter and his game face

Dusty Baker’s contempt for pitch counts

There’s going to be an international baseball tournament this August

Wayner Messmer and the perfect, sub-3:00 National Anthem

$2.25 malt cups

Ed and John

Sox fans blaming the rain on the Cubs

Roadtrip blogs

Johnny Damon’s hair

No more powder-blue road uniforms; less teal

Baseball is all about statistics

Since it’s July 1st, here are some highlights of the June statistics for this site…

  • The busiest day was June 1st. The second-busiest day in terms of requests for pages was June 7th, but the second-busiest day in terms of actual page views was June 3rd.
  • Tuesday was the busiest day of the week, followed by Wednesday, and then Monday and Thursday running neck and neck.
  • The busiest hour was 10:00-11:00 A.M. Central time, followed closely by 7:00-8:00 A.M. There is a dramatic dropoff after the 2:00-3:00 P.M. hour.
  • uchicago.edu leads the list of organizations visiting the site…specifically, press-dhcp-204126.uchicago.edu, which I assume is the computer in Levi’s office. It’s pretty far ahead of covad.net (me at home). Other Chicagoans are visiting the site via enteract.com and tribune.com, and I assume a lot of the comcast.net traffic is emanating from Chicago as well.
  • Apparently, we were mentioned on the forums at sportingnews.com, but I can’t figure out where.
  • Most frequent search used to find the site: “http://www.baseballrelated.com.” You know, you can just type that into your browser somewhere to find the site. Or maybe you like using Google as an intermediary.
  • Other frequent searches: “steve kline tony larussa,” “nolan ryan 235 pitches,” “baseball jingles,” “baseball activities,” “ipod freezes,” and, of course, “gary pappas shaves head.”
  • And it didn’t show up on the monthly report because only one person used these search terms, but I think it’s my favorite search of June: “how much does kirsten storms weigh.” Less than me, I’m guessing!

Original comments…

Levi: It’s not that I obsessively check this page. It’s that I have assigned my assistant, as about 70% of her duties, to obsessively check it and write up reports for me.

Jim: Also, you can’t really access the site anywhere but your office (unless you take your laptop, um, “warwalking”), whereas I can access it from my office, from home, and probably from my cell phone if I’m willing to pay 25 cents a minute. And I get new comments e-mailed to me, so I only have to check the site if I can’t figure out the context of a comment (e.g., when I get an e-mail that tells me nothing but that Steve said “You’re a regular Charlie Lau or whatever the hell that guy’s name is.”

Swingin’ Simon

While the Cardinals were busy losing, again and again and again, to the Pittsburgh Pirates this week, I was thinking about Pirates first baseman Randall Simon.

Who doesn’t love Randall Simon? Well, a certain sausage in Milwaukee might not. And those of us who prefer our hitters to be patient and hit for power, especially if they’re manning first base, well, we might have our quibbles with him once in a while, too.

But is there any baseball fan who doesn’t love watching him hit? There are hundreds of impatient hitters. Rey Ordonez approaches his at-bats as if he’s Cinderella at thirty seconds to midnight. Corey Patterson, until recent weeks, swung at bad pitches as if he were the pitcher’s therapist and wanted him to feel good about himself. But no one I’ve ever seen combines a burning desire to hit every single pitch with an incomprehensible ability to hit just about every single pitch.

Sure, a lot of the balls he hits get fouled off. Or popped up. And he’s never hit for real power. But that takes nothing away from my marveling at his sheer ability to introduce bat to ball. Shoetops, helmet-high, inside, outside, in the dirt. It’s never mattered much to Simon. He’s a superhero of hacking.

And he’s chubby. Even rotund.

Though Simon’s career on-base percentage of .328 is abysmal, his .297 batting average has enabled him to keep a major league job for seven years. But I worry that the end is near: It’s only 100 at-bats, but Simon’s line this year is .210/.292/.280 is bad. He’s not striking out much more than usual, with 10, but he’s also not hitting for any power at all, with only 4 doubles and 1 home run. If he doesn’t come back strong in the second half, even the lowly Pirates (see the first sentence of this post) might let him go.

Who knows what the problem is? Maybe his bat speed is slowing just enough, though you would expect that to be reflected in increased strikeouts. Maybe he’s been unlucky.

But I have a new pet theory. Remember in the spring of 1998, when New Sammy burst on the scene, no longer flailing at curveballs in the dirt? Maybe Simon’s the Bizarro Sammy: he’s more than doubled his walk rate, from a career rate of one walk per 23.5 at-bats to this year’s rate of one every 11 at-bats. Maybe that’s the problem: he’s being too selective. That goes counter to everything I understand about hitting, but we’re talking about Randall Simon. Anything’s possible.

So my advice is to hack away, Randall. I think you shouldn’t take another pitch this season. Not a one.

If my advice works, Pirates fans can thank me later by beating the Cardinals’ rivals down the stretch.

Original comments…

Steve: You’re a regular Charlie Lau or whatever the hell that guy’s name is.

Toby: Ahh yes, thank you, Levi, for highlighting another in a long string of Pirate first baseman who really suck. I can trace it all the way back to the early 80s and Jason Thompson, who replaced “Pops” Stargell. Yes, I know Willie wasn’t really a first baseman–he played there late in his career, but still, he was the last good first baseman they had.

I liked Sid Bream when he played there, but then he went to Atlanta and then in that game 7 in 1992, he slid home with the winning run… So, now I pretty much hate him.

Man, I’ve been on vacation all week and must have built up some real anger. Sorry about that.

There goes the smuggling operation

From the “Returning to the United States” portion of AAA’s “U.S.-Canada Border Information” handout: “Articles considered detrimental to the general welfare of the United States are prohibited entry. These include narcotics and dangerous drugs, drug paraphernalia, obscene articles and publications, seditious or treasonable matter, lottery tickets, hazardous articles (e.g. fireworks, dangerous toys, toxic or poisonous substances) and switchblade knives.”

Lottery tickets are detrimental to the general welfare of the United States? Have the various states been notified of this fact? Many of them seem to be depending on the sale of lottery tickets for a major portion of their budgets. (Hmm, maybe they specifically mean Canadian lottery tickets are detrimental to the general welfare of the United States.)

I guess this means we won’t be able to blow any remaining Canadian cash on lottery tickets near the border. Guess we’ll instead have to stock up on candy that’s not available in the U.S., including Nestle Smarties and Aero bars. (Because we’ll be in Canada less than 48 hours, we’ll be able to bring back up to $400 worth of candy, or anything other than lottery tickets. If we wind with anywhere near $400 worth of Canadian money with which to buy candy, it will either mean an ATM went crazy somewhere or we were surprisingly successful buskers.)

Original comments…

Levi: Jim, if you buy anything in Canadia, the terrorists win.

maura: you can buy aero bars at the deli around the corner from my apartment.

Jim: Along with poutine, Kraft Dinner, caffeine-free Mountain Dew, and Anne Murray CDs?

(Yes, yes, I know Kraft Dinner is readily available in the U.S. under the name Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, or, if you prefer, Cheese and Macaroni. Leave it to the Canadians to just assume that dinner will involve macaroni and cheese.)

Levi: Also, $400 Canadian is equal to about $.28-$.35 American, depending on the prevailing exchange rates. We just might end up with that much money.

Jason: Don’t forget to pick up some ketchup-flavored potato chips.

On second thought, I think you’ve tried them before, so, forget it, after all.