A baseball dream

I’ll write later this week about our Montreal weekend, which featured at least a couple of points of interest to baseballrelated fans, but today I’m busy with work, so I’ll just share the dream I had right before waking this morning.

I was dreaming about the Cubs/Marlins doubleheader today. The Marlins announced their starting lineup for game one:
Leading off: a sesame red bean ball
Batting second: a cute, furry kitten
Batting third: Stacey

I thought to myself, “But . . . but . . . but . . . those aren’t major-league ballplayers! The Marlins are throwing this game!”

Then I woke.
Now, I love eating a sesame rice ball, and I love petting a cute, furry kitten, and I love playing catch with Stacey. But my dream thought was right: none of those is a major-league-quality ballplayer.

Marlins should be announcing their starting lineup for game one in minutes. You heard it here first.

Original comments…

thatbob: Wait, were Mike Piazza and Ichiro Suzuki playing for the Expos, too? Because maybe they decided to field Stacey’s All Cuite Team for a change.

None of them may be major-league quality players (except Piazza), but any one of them (except Suzuki) could get me to switch my allegiance from the Cubs to the Expos. And I bet the cute, furry kitten pulls a lot of walks, but I doubt (s)he’s as good at fielding as a certain canine playing shortstop somewhere up in St. Paul.

Dan: You’re goddamn right about Snoopy.

stacey: aw bob, i’m not on the all cute team! that’s just silly.

levi, i have to say that i’m disappointed it that it took the mention of MY NAME to bring you to your senses. sure, a sesame ball can lead off, followed by a furry kitten. but once they mention your wife, you suddenly realize it’s a bad idea?

thatbob: Stace, I just figured you’d be the manager of your All Cute Team, which I think means you could put yourself in if the situation, or cuteness, required.

Levi: I think it was Cap Anson (and if it wasn’t, it should have been) who a couple of times, as player/manager, announced himself as entering a ballgame just in time that he could hop off the bench and catch a foul popup that was headed his way.

Rules–those damnable things–now prevent such action.

I wish I’d thought of this

Back in March, a man named Michael Mahan, who has more money than me, bought the entire right-field pavilion (bleachers) at Dodger Stadium for two of the three games against the Giants the last weekend of the season. With that big a group buy, the tickets cost only $3.50 each (face value $6.00). He sold some to a broker, donated some to Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and has been selling the rest through his web site for $15.00 each.

Everyone who buys a ticket, though — and the big brothers and big sisters themselves — has to sign an 8-page contract that if they catch a Barry Bonds home run ball, they have to give it to him, and then he’ll sell the ball and later split the money with him.

The Dodgers found out about all this, and they’re a little annoyed, but there’s not much they can do; in California, selling tickets above face value is only illegal on stadium property. They also threatened to let people into the pavilion for free during the games if there is a significant number of empty seats, but Mahan says he’s distributed almost all of the tickets, so that shouldn’t be an issue.

This was all on the front page of today’s L.A. Times, but reading that article requires registration, whereas baseballrelated.com doesn’t. I think the reason this made the front page today is because Bonds has gotten near 700 home runs a little faster than Mahan predicted back in March.

I’m going to the Dodgers game tonight, but sitting in the “reserved” (third) level, behind home plate, so no Barry Bonds home run balls for me. Well, since they’re playing the Padres, a Bonds home run ball would be highly unlikely no matter where I’m sitting.

Original comments…

Jim: It wasn’t in the L.A. Times article, so I forgot to bring up Charlie Sheen buying the entire left-field bleachers for a game at Anaheim in 1996. (“Anybody can catch a foul ball,” he supposedly said. “I want to catch a fair ball.”) The Angels apparently didn’t even make him fill up the section, because by all accounts, it was just Sheen and a couple of friends sitting out there. No one was in danger of hitting any milestone home runs in that game, though, and Sheen went home empty-handed.

Levi: You know, I was just retelling that story to Luke on Monday, but I had Sheen at Comiskey Park. My mistake, I assume, since Jim is known to be mistake-free.

Dan: Jim knows(tm).

Home Sweet Home

I apologize for being late with this–work (along with my upcoming weekend trip to Montreal) has kept me busy this week.

But here you go: some thoughts on Monday afternoon’s Expos/Marlins game, such as they are.

1) Luke and I met at 12:45, because MLB.com said the game was to begin at 1:35. Alas, the game began at 1:05, which meant that many fans were already there ahead of us and we were reduced to sitting on the sixth row, behind the on-deck circle. We were so far away I almost couldn’t count the crows feet around Jeff “The Original Marlin” Conine’s eyes.

2) Our estimates of the crowd size, apparently, were wildly inaccurate. The upper decks were closed completely (In fact, there were some construction–or, I suppose in this case, destruction–guys ripping out a section of seats in the upper deck in left. Not like the Sox have another ten home games or anything.), and the lower deck, though more full than I would have guessed, wasn’t anywhere near capacity. I guessed 900 or so, Luke dithered between 800 and 1200. Attendance wasn’t announced during the game, but it was later listed at 4,003.

3) Luke and I had both expected the fans to be rooting for the Expos, hoping for a Marlins defeat that would push Florida farther behind the Cubs in the Wild Card race. There’s nothing like a little North Side blindness, which we all fall prey to sometimes. Turns out about half the audience was composed of Sox fans rooting for a Marlins rout, a Sosa suspension, and more concrete cave-ins at Wrigley. One funny side effect of the general admission seating was that people chose sections like at a high school game: the Expos fans sat on the Expos dugout side, the Marlins fans did the same with the Marlins dugout.

4) The Marlins brought their hometown PA announcer and graphics package, which included the obligatory scoreboard races, a gratuitous shot of Steve Bartman, and a lot of “your Florida Marlins.” One of the scoreboard races was an exotic Florida-type race: fan boats, being raced by several different Billy the Marlin. Bill was also in attendance, as was Marlins owner (and Expos destroyer) Jeffrey Loria. The only thing missing was local traffic information to help us get home to South Beach after the game.

5) The atmosphere at the game, Luke and I agreed, was one of the most pleasant of any game we’ve been to. No one (except the players) had much invested in the game’s outcome, so the cheering was genial, and people seemed to be really enjoying being part of a weird occurrence on a beautiful late summer day. It felt a lot like attending a minor-league game with major-league players–until the Expos made four errors in the 8th inning, at which point it seemed like, well, maybe a T-Ball game.

6) Not wanting to miss an opportunity, I made the day into a doubleheader, hurrying home after the game to get some dinner, then turning around and heading to Wrigley Field for the Cubs/Pirates game. Greg Maddux, given an early lead, did what he nearly always does, and a fine day of baseball came to a pleasant end.

7) And one unrelated note: let’s take a moment to congratulate the Big Unit, who last night fanned Vinny Castilla to move into third all-time on the strikeout list. He might even eventually catch Clemens for second, since he shows no signs of aging.

Original comments…

Jim: You wanted local traffic information for Miami?

“I-95 north is backed up due to slow-moving Cadillacs with turn signals on in all lanes. The Turnpike south is temporarily closed due to alligators crossing the roadway. A1A is flooded due to this week’s hurricane.”

Luke, hanger-on: One of the Florida papers on Tuesday — sorry, I forget which one — said it was the Marlins who wanted the later start Monday, but MLB nixed it. And it said Loria was annoyed at Bartman’s visage — A regular feature after fan interference at Sox Park? The story made it sound like it was. — and made an enraged call to the scoreboard operator to get it yanked. Apparently he’s a bit defensive vis-a-vis the idea that anyone but the Marlins had anything to do with Florida’s unlikely championship.

In addition to the absence of “You suck!” heckles and “Yo, four beers!” bellowing, there was another pleasantness to the game that I’m surprised that Levi didn’t mention: very few children. It was a weekday, so they must have all been in school or jail, where they belong. There were just enough there — youngsters too young for school or out on parole — so that just about every foul ball seemed to get passed on to a nearby child, an indicator of the genial, generous mood that the crowd was in.

Luke: Found that story. (Login: bugmenot2; pass: whatever .)

Luke: And it wasn’t Loria, but Marlins President David Samson.

Jason: Did they have any south Florida items at the concession stands, like oranges or cocaine?

maura: (we weren’t really sure of what time monday’s game was going to start until about five minutes before it actually did. so much confusion.)

Related to the trip, but not baseball-related

I’ve managed to answer the question, “Can there possibly be anything at a restaurant more surprisingly highly priced than the $7.00 beers at the Red Star Tavern in Pittsburgh?” And that answer is yes.

I was with a group at a mid-priced Mexican restaurant last night, and during the cocktails-and-chips portion of the evening, someone made the executive decision to order guacamole as a supplement to the salsa. The guacamole order was a bowl of the usual size one gets at a Mexican restaurant; it was fresh and tasty, but since this is California, it’s very easy to find fresh and tasty guacamole.

The cost of the bowl of guacamole turned out to be $8.25.

It turned out to be listed on the menu with a price of “as quoted,” as if it’s, you know, lobster fresh off a plane from Maine. They didn’t quote the price to us when we ordered it, only when it showed up on the bill.

(I like the fact that the menu lists what year they started serving every dish, because it’s fascinating to see when “new” Mexican foods were introduced — quesadillas 1969, fajitas 1984, vegetarian enchiladas 1992. But especially when that information is on the web site version of the menu, too, it’s not $8.25 worth of guacamole fascinating!)

Original comments…

Levi: The “as quoted” reminds me of the restaurant–was it one of the places where we looked at a menu in Pittsburgh, Jim?–in the midwest that boasted “The freshest fish in the nation!”

I suppose if it were some bottom-feeding river fish, then maybe.

thatbob: Perhaps they meant The Iroquois Nation. Are you certain you weren’t on tribal land?

Even more pictures

I’ve added three photos, taken with my Aunt Nancy with her camera, to the Philadelphia pictures post. Funny how I’m in all three of them (and she’s not in any of them, so there’s no evidence of her actually having been at the game with us).

Also, it turns out (from looking closely at one of them) that one of the vital statistics was wrong; I had forgotten that Citizens Bank Park serves Coca-Cola for washing down your Schmitter, so they join St. Louis, Toronto, Montreal, and Boston on the list of stadiums that dispense Coke.

Alternate universe version of the trip, number three

As promised a while back, here are the scores from Itinerary Number Four.

Monday, August 30: Astros 11, Reds 3

Tuesday, August 31: Mariners 7, Blue Jays 5

Wednesday, September 1: Cubs 2, Expos 1 (11 innings)

Thursday, September 2: Red Sox 4, Angels 3

Friday, September 3: Orioles 3, Yankees 1

Saturday, September 4: Phillies 7, Mets 0

Sunday, September 5: Frederick Keys 3, Wilmington Blue Rocks 2

Monday, September 6: Orioles 4, Twins 1

Tuesday, September 7: Pirates 2, Brewers 0

Wednesday, September 8: Royals at Tigers…rained out!

Aside from the Orioles-Yankees game that prompted Kevin Brown to punch the wall, I don’t think there’s anything too special here. And a rainout would have been a horrible way to end the trip. Knowing what I know now, I’m glad Levi chose Itinerary #3. Thanks, Levi!

Original comments…

Levi: You’re welcome.

And not only was it a rainout, it was one of those that probably won’t even be made up later, since it’s the Tigers and Royals. Sad.

Levi: Oh, and by my quick estimation, we’d only have gone 4-5, if we rooted for the teams I imagine we would have rooted for.

Jim: On the other hand, we could have spent a full couple of days with my aunt and uncle, instead of just seeing them during one game (since they’re close enough to Wilmington, and maybe even Baltimore).

Money matters

This information may come in handy for people planning to take a trip like this themselves. Now that my credit card bill has arrived with accurate Canadian-U.S. dollar exchange figures, I can come up with an accurate figure of my trip-related out-of-pocket expenditures: $2,411.92.

That’s kind of misleading, because that includes most of the major expenditures on the trip, which Levi and the other hangers-on are contributing towards, such as tickets to seven of the games (Davenport, Detroit, Toronto, Boston, Philadelphia, Chicago, Milwaukee), the $7.00 beers at the Red Star Tavern in Pittsburgh, and…

Airfare, Burbank-Chicago: $235.40
Rental car: $483.69 (“Full size” for 2 weeks plus charge for additional authorized operator)
Seven nights in hotels: $799.65 (I should send Fox a bill for one of these nights)
Watch repair: $2.00

It was worth every penny.

How could I pass it up?

I’ve decided to attend Monday’s Marlins/Expos game at Comiskey Park.

With Hurricane Pudge approaching, MLB has rescheduled the first two games of the Marlins/Expos series for Comiskey on Monday and Tuesday aftenoons. Tickets will be general admission, $15, with $5 going to hurricane relief. I’m going because I can’t pass up the chance to be one of a couple hundred people at one of the weirdest games ever.

Who’s with me?

Original comments…

thatbob: If you root hard enough for the Expos in Comiskey, maybe they’ll move here.

Jason: Maybe BOTH the Expos & Marlins will move to Comiskey, if the Fish don’t get their new stadium.

Levi: I think Alan Keyes already moved there, but he’ll be back in Maryland by the end of the World Series, so no conflict there.

Jon Solomon: How was the game?!

What were they thinking? , or, Business as Usual in Tampa Bay

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays have released 1B/DH Randall Simon.

Now, this confuses me. That is to say, I’m not really confused about why a team might release a guy who’s managed only a .188/.266/.266 line for the year. What confuses me is why you’d release him a mere 20 days after you signed him? You might remember that I picked on the Pirates for releasing him a month ago when they had nothing to play for and no reason not to keep the guy around. But this is far less explicable.

What could the Devil Rays have seen in Simon’s 20 at-bats for them over the past 20 days that his whole career couldn’t have prepared them for? Did he sleep with someone’s wife? Does hs have particularly stinky socks? Did he steal Rocco Baldelli’s glove and try to sell it to a collector? Did that walking Sausage invasion of Florida that the D-Rays were worried about fizzle out? Does Tampa Bay have enough prospects that they needed every space on their 40-man rost . . . oh, that sentence is just too silly to finish typing.

Regardless, it appears that Simon’s career may have come to an end. So the next time we all gather, let’s raise a glass to the wildest-swinging hitter I’ve ever seen.

Original comments…

Jim: Sausage invasion? He sure wasn’t helping the Devil Rays defend Florida against the hurricane invasion!

Dan: Oh, this reminds me.. So as to avoid all the inevitable Ivan the Terrible references to that new hurricane, I want to refer to that storm as Hurricane Pudge. Who’s with me?

Levi: I’m so there. Great idea.

Pat Hughes, Alliterist

While I was at Tuesday night’s dismal extra-inning loss for the Cubs, Stacey was listening on the radio, where she heard the following roll off the tongue of Pat Hughes:

“There’s a looping liner over a leaping Lee.”

Oh, and in case I haven’t thought to pass it on, Ron Santo recently called Olympic Stadium “The Toilet Bowl of the World.”

Original comments…

stacey: actually, i think it might have been “the toilet bowl of the universe.”

Levi: Oh. I thought that was Mos Eisley Spaceport.

Jim: I bet the poutine is better at Olympic Stadium than it is at Mos Eisley!